jordansmith702:

steverogersorbust:

unpretty:

okay so i had been spoilered all to hell already about captain america

but

i had assumed it was like other marvel stuff, where falcon is a shield agent, and that “on your left” came out of some kind of shield exercise thing

BUT NO

IT WAS LITERALLY JUST STEVE ROGERS FUCKING WITH A STRANGER

HE JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO FUCK WITH A DUDE HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW

HOW OFTEN DOES HE DO THAT

is steve rogers just fucking with people constantly bill murray style

does he steal french fries from strangers and tell them no one will ever believe them

does he lift cars when only small children are looking

did steve realize that captain america had a bizarrely wholesome reputation and use it as a way to prank people blamelessly

“Hey! Those are my french fries!”

“Freedom fries,” Steve corrects, chewing. “Mmm. Old Bay.”

“Wait, are you—are you Captain America?”

Steve grins, still chewing. His eyes twinkle as he considers the plate of fries contemplatively. “Maybe,” he allows. “Probably.” He holds out a french fry magnanimously, a peace offering. It’s taken, albeit in abject disbelief.

“Not that anyone will believe you,” he adds cheerfully. 

Then, off he goes, sauntering away. Holding a plate of someone else’s fries. Whistling Star Spangled Man with a Plan.

“Wow. Captain America’s kind of an asshole.”

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